I'm starting to get that feeling again. i was so good for a while. Well good enough considering how i used to feel. But i am getting that heavy hurting feeling inside of me. And my urge to cut is getting worse and worse. I guess the medication is whats helping me not atually do it, but i can just feel it getting harder like every hour. And i should be fine. Everything should be good because everything is finally working out. i have a place to stay over the summer so i dont have to stay at home, i'm doing pretty ok in my 2 classes, i have vito, i have all i need, and yet i am getting more depressed with each passing day and i just want it to stop. I need it to stop and i'm so ready to do whatever to make it go away. I just really need it to go away right now because i want this to be perfect. everything is so good, i just need it to be happy.
i have been thinking a lot about my childhood. like things i used to do when i was younger and how much i have forgotten. I wish i could remember it all and see where stuff went wrong. and even remember the good stuff so not everything seems so bad. i dont know. this is just me rambling about stupid stuff in my brain.
all my best friends are hanging out in the lounge talking and having fun...and i just wanna be alone and sleep, and shut the world out. and watch superman lol =p