Mary woke him up by being a huge bitch and we were both pretty tense cause of the whole thing. So we decided to go back to his house. His mom was there and we sat around for a while, then we went to his room and watched monty python. After that i was so tired i just fell right asleep. I dont think i have ever fallen asleep so fast. it was great.
We woke up at like 9:30 and we just sat around. Vito took care of some of the apartment stuff, then we went to class. After that we ate lunch and he dropped me off. I went to diner with Josh today which was nice. it was very good to catch up and talk with him about stuff. I miss them so much. I almost cried just thinking about how i might not come back next year and see them.
And then Andrea said she wanted to talk to me about something. ANd she tells me that her and Josh talked, and they realized that they have feelings for eachother...i thought i was gonna die right there. Andrea and Josh. it was just too weird. and i felt like i was stabbed in the heart. twice, because then i felt bad that i was feeling that way. I mean, i dont know what to think. So i told her that i have been in love with josh since the beginning of the year and then she felt bad, but i told her not too cause i thought it would be great if the two of them got together. So i feel guilty for feeling like my heart was ripped in two, and then i feel my heart being ripped in two, and all that pain just makes me feel like total crap. I didnt need this complication at this time. Like, its great but...god he was the one thing i wanted for the longest time. hes Josh. he was my everything.We loved the same things, we have the same interests, he is eternally sweet and good to me, hes changed my life in so many good ways. ANd then there is Vito, who i love with all my heart, and my love for the two of them is totally different. And i dont want anything to change between me and Vito cause i love him more than anyone, but it still hurts. And i dont know what to feel right now. I hate this confused feeling..