Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

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who said it would be perfect?

yesterday was good...and not so good. We ended up not seeing Austin Powers cause it was all sold out, so we walked around a little and then decided to rent a movie instead and just go home. so we got home and for some reason we got gung ho about vito going out to get drinks. so he did and we ended up talking and drinking and playing games instead of watching the movie we rented. Then by the time we were drunk off our asses we started to fool around and all that. it was really nice but i wished it was just vito and i...or vito and someone else...besides annie. After that i was urging to get ready cause we still wanted to go to club sark and it was already 1am. so we got ready...looking fabulous i might add, and we went...we got in and they gave us drinking bracelets so of course we drank more. we danced and had an awsome time. i really loved dancing with the two of them. i felt good for most of that time. By the time we left i was drunk off my ass and just being stupid. we got home and totally started fooling around but i wasnt really into it...i wanted to be but i just couldnt. and then i was just sick for the rest of the night, reminding myself why i never want to drink again...

i hate the fact that i dont feel anything for annie. i feel like i am ruining everything that he wants. but i also think he is being unrealistic about it. i know that he just wanted to get with annie because she wanted to as well, and it is more out of convenience then finding the right person, which i just dont think is right. everyone could get hurt in this situation. and i cant force myself to like her. but i want to so bad. he just seemed so happy and i feel like i would be taking that away from him. but i cant lie and i cant pretend, because that would just end up causing more problems then if i just dissapointed him...so i dont know what to do. and i dont really know what else to feel about this situation...maybe i should just go for a walk and think about things...clear my head a little from all this static...
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