Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.

  • Mood:

why wont you just go away?

Suddenly nothing makes me happy anymore...(suddenly?) maybe for like the 20 minutes that i am actually experiancing something its ok, and then i am just sad. like incredibly sad... and nothing is fixing it. i just really dislike my life. why am i here? what do i have? everything is like pieces of a perfect reality...broken pieces that i can never fix...and so i wonder how much longer i am really going to toerate it, because each day i become less and less caring...and i remember those days when it just didnt matter, and people i loved just didnt matter. i dont think that could ever happen with him...but when he is so distant for most of the time its easy to forget how much he cares...and then i just get thrown into this wave of self-hatred...

we saw signs was the scariest movie ive ever seen in my entire life. i guess cause it was so real...dont really was. today we went out to eat at Uno's so we could finally go visit Kara, then we hung out for a little while which was nice. she thinks vito is weird. she wonders why i like then he and i got started on this whole conversation about me appreciating him, and that didnt go too well but we kinda just dropped it. i feel like i am getting less and less able to just tell him how i feel without him getting upset or angry or hurt...and i feel hurt by that.

Later he wants to go get his hair cut...his beautiful hair. one of the most beautiful things about him. i really think i am gonna cry over that...but its his hair, his thing...whatever...appaerently its none of my business...or whatever he said to me yesterday. i guess i should jsut shut up now.

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    I forgot how hard it is to compile livejournal icons that I like. May that be the least of my problems today lol. Also, is there any way to change…

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    Oh my god, livejournal. Where have I been? Two years. It doesn't even seem that long. I wanna start writing again though, because I've been in a…

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