Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

  • Mood:
So i guess stuff went from really bad to pretty good...i guess i just needed some love and reassurance. Yesterday i was so ready to die. now i know some people say that all the time but i am serious, anyone who knows me knows that...and yesterday i just felt like i did 5 months ago when i tried to kill myself...and i dont really know what changed, but it made it all better. its funny how the same things that can sometimes make you sad, can always make you happy too...its funny how he does that to me...

We went and did our lundry yesterday...loads and loads...it was kind of embarassing...but anyway, he was talking alot about that he didnt know if after our lease ran out if we would still be together...like he might want to end it then or something. SO of course this ontop of me already being depressed was not the greatest thing. anyway, somehow i got over that...i guess i jsut put it in the back of my mind.Or maybe i know that i am more important to him then that...

So then we came home and cleaned up cause his friend Vibha was coming over. we finally fixed up my side really nice, except now the futon is closed and i have no place to sleep hehe. i tried sleeping with him again on his little bed but that is so frustrating...anyway, we stayed here for a while and talked, then the three of us went to eat at this mexican place called Cilantros. it was pretty good. Vito was so happy during the whole time. its like how i used to know him when i first met him. It was so great to see him like that. he genuinely looked like he was having a great time and he was in such a good mood. i love seeing him like that. Anyway afterwards we came back and went to bed.

Today we hae just been sitting around, he's been cleaning up around the house and watching tv and stuff. Vito went out and got me flowers this morning. They were pink and beautiful. It was the sweetest thing in the whole world. He got them for our anniversary. It really meant so much to me that he did that...

so i feel good today...really good. and i am so happy that i got out of that rut. today annie might come over...sleep over...probably like last time. We are probably gonna get some drugs and go out to a club or something. I had so much fun last time with the club part, hopefully it will be the same...i dont know about everything else...i feel kind of weird about it but we'll see...
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