Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.

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wow, a lot has happened since i wrote last. lots of bad stuff and then good stuff. i dont know if i want to get into it all right now though. its just too mucha nd too hard to remember. all in all i guess if it ends up good and it all works out then it really doesnt matter. you just learn from what happens and use it to help yourself, and then move on. so what i learned is that i guess i am starting to get too depressed to handle it on my own so maybe i should go back to therapy...i definitly should. i seriously almost had a beakdown the other day and it wasnt fun. sometimes i feel like i cant even control it anymore, like i am going crazy or something. i just cry and cry and cant stop, and it urts so bad...and everything starts hurting, and i just cant stop. and i dont even know why...sometimes its vito, sometimes its me...mostly its me cause i just cant control my emotions anymore or whatever. sometimes i just need him so bad that it hurts and i feel like he is ignoring me...and then he tells me to leave...and this is when i need him the most. but then when he realizes that, he really is there for me and is so sweet and understanding.

anniw slept over again. i thought i was getting used to everything and being ok wth it but after this i realized that i am really not. she is starting to get on my nerves big time and i feel like i dont even want her around ever. Vito thinks i am getting jelous but i am not. its just a feling i have that doesnt go away. i mean yeah, i guess sometimes when he does things with her that i ache for him to do with me i get upset, but that has nothing to do with anything. she jsut thinks shes the greatest thing in the world and i am jsut like, who do you think you are? she could never appreciate him like i why even bother. i dont know i guess i will write more about this when i have thought it through a little more.

thanks amanda...

they opened up a dunkin donuts near our place...happy time hehe.

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