Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

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didnt you tell me it would all work out????

I feel like my life is going around this endless painful circle. i am completely stuck, with no way out on either end...i hate the way things are going. something has to change. i just cant figure out what...and i just dont know if i can be able to change it. i never have before. everything i try to do ends up with me being a big failure. so why should this be any different. why should me trying to do something with my life be any different? I know Vito needs me to do these things, to pull myself together, but everytime i try, i just cant...

He wants to do it with annie this weekend. i just dont feel like i am at a stable enough spot for that right now. i mean i think its hot and all...if it was another girl...but the way things have been going, i just cant see that happening. it makes me feel way too uncomfortable. i dont know if i can do it with her at all at this point. but i know he wont want it any different. and by the way, he still owes me for the other night...

i have jury duty on monday. i am highly not looking forward to it. Friday is my birthday. i kinda dont want that happening either. tomorrow vito said he is going to help me fill out applications and stuff...we'll see. i just appreciate the fact that he pays more attention to me...or tries to anyway. as long as he tries...
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