Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

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so what

i woke up late today, just in time to get ready for my dentist appointment. i cried all night being so deathly upset about it...and thats all i had nightmares about last night. i really hate this anxiety shit. i wish my meds would work already.well the appointment went ok but i was such a wreck. i never want to go back.

i have been crying non stop every night. nothing can comfort me except maybe laying with vito for a while. i just cant breath. i feel like going to the hospital. i never know what to do anymore. i have to beg vito to go out with me to get air cause i am suffocating. its been easier lately. hes been so much better, and caring. i love the way things are working out.

we are starting to get tight with money again though. it never ends and i dont know what to do anymore. vito was thinking maybe i could get disability cause of my anxiety problem. i mean, its keeping me from doing everyday life things. and until it gets fixed, i cant get a job. and vito is so depressed. i dont want him to do it alone..i'm just so scared about my meds not working.

ive been watching once and again reruns lately, and they are the episodes where jessie realizes shes gay and she kisses katie...and i just wish i had a girl like that.the beauty of two girls...

i dont know what to think of life right now...
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