depressedSo tonight was really weird. We made smoothies and Jim came along too. maybe it was weird cause of him? I dunno, but Josh was different. he was like...not Josh. People start getting comfortable and then things change. They start acting not how they originally did. Or maybe it was just tonight. I was really off center tonight. I think it started yesterday, and then today was just bad and it threw off the whole night.
I think this bipolarness is getting out of hand. Now I just cant be happy anymore. It all faded away. I think of what made me ahppy a few days ago and its just not there. I mean, i am "happy" but not...i cant explain.
All i know is i have a stronge urge to cut. I havnt had that urge in a few months. I just dont know what I am doing anymore. I am so confused with myself and my life and everything. I wish i oculd just bleed it all away and make myself fade so no one will notice.
