Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.

  • Mood:

dazed and confused

well the last few days have been eventful and confusing to say the least.

saturday we slept late cause for some reason we were really tired and kinda down. Vito wanted to do some drugs by the end of the night and i decided that it would be cool. but we didnt want to get up cause we needed to go to CVS for supplies. so then Annie called and we decided we would get our asses up and get ready, then meet her at CVS. so we got there and i went to look at the 50% off valentines chocolates. i bought 2 of the heart ones filled with chocolate and a black eyeshadow. vito got the supplies, and we met annie. so we went back to our place, not really sure if we were gonna do the drugs cause annie was there and it would be weird. so we just hung out and drank for a while. then i decided i wanted to do the drugs, so we got everything set up for me and i did them. i was kinda upset cause vito was so worried about the proper precautions that he read about on the internet, then actually doing it right. anyway, i didnt feel it as good as last time, like the rush through my veins, but i felt pretty high, and really good. so then we fooled around for a while. we tried to do new things cause we have the bed closed now and we have the cool chair thing. so that was fun, but after a while i was starting to get sick and really cold. i needed like a little break cause i was shaking and not feeling well. so i filled up the tub with hot water and just sat in it while vito stood there talking to me. then i decided i was gonna shave eerything off of me so i did lol, and then i got out and got dressed, so i felt a lot better. then vito decided he wanted to try the drugs again as well, last time he got so sick though so i was telling him not to cause then the rest of the night would just be him getting sick. but he wanted to anyway, so we set him up. he went right to lie down cause he said he was feeling nautious. he was also sweating like crazy. he wanted me to lay with him so i lay there for a long time. he tried sitting up a lot but he kept feeling like he would get sick. so i kept getting up to get him stuff,like drinks and bags and lollypops. we lay and listened to enya and he told me how much he loved me and how i was his best friend in the whole world. it was really nice. then later on, he was feeling a bit better so he sat up and i was rubbing his back and we fooled around a little. all the while he was telling me how much he loved me. then he told me that he felt like something inside of him was changing, the past few days had been so good, and he was starting to feel really in love with me, like he wanted me to stay with him forever. he said he felt like he was opening up to me and all he wanted to do was lay there and love me. god i wish i remembered all the things he said. it was like the most beautiful moment ever. it was everything i have always wanted to hear. i feel like he was finally giving his heart to me. we decided to sleep the rest of the night, he slept actually holding me with his arms around me. he said he loved sleeping with me now and that things were changing. ever since then he has been so sweet to me and so kind. i feel like everything has changed now. like he loves me more and more completely.

so then the next day i was supposed to go to new jersey but i was feeling tired and sick so i decided not to go. i felt bad about it the whole day though, but ii guess i just couldnt. vito told me he wanted me to go at first cause then he could have time to himself, and he could hang out with annie alone and even hook up. i was pretty disapointed in him, but then he told me he really wanted me to stay instead. so he hooked up with her anyway, without me cause i was just too tired, and he said he enjoyed it. i have no idea whats up with that. ew. so then she left. vito cleaned a little, and then we fooled around again, then we went to sleep.

when we woke up there was like a million feet of snow on the ground lol. i have no idea what we did the rest of the day lol. but around 3ish, we packe dup the laundry and decided we would bring it over to my parents house. there was so much fucking snow on the ground that we could barely walk. the cars were completely covered, and are street was baricaded in with snow. there were people playing ball like in the middle of our street. it was so cool. so i took some pictures. i guess i'll post those soon hehe. so we got to my parents house and vito was kinda upset and stressed and blaming everything on me, so i was kinda down about that. but then he apologized profusely and we too a little nap. now we are doing laundry and he is doing some job stuff.

so everything has been kinda weird and confusing for me. i guess its just hard for me to believe him when all this time he tells me something else. now when he finally gives me what i need, its hard for me to take it cause i know if its not true it would kill me. but maybe everything will be ok...

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