Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

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when words are such a waste

tuesday i went to my parents house after therapy. it was good to finally go. we talked about a lot of things. a lot of vito things. sometimes becky gives me this look like why do you put up with him. but i know she likes vito. its weird. i guess girls always take eachothers sides. so yeah, then we went to my parents house for diner. we watched bufyy and the end of angel from the other day. i played with my sisters mice for a while. that was pretty fun. i sat there and wondered what things would be like if i was still there. things just feel so uncomfortable sometimes.

But maybe its better. kinga came to visit on monday and i actually went to hang out with her, without vito. by the end i was freaking out though, but atleast i could do it a little!!! her friend johanna was there again. she doesnt like me. and then i met her other friend elizabeth who is sooooo hot. she lives in the city too. so we just hung out for a while and then kinga;s mom came to pick her up. that night i just felt so shitty again so i went to get drunk. i got a little too drunk though. well at first it was just a little. i called my dad to wish him a happy birthday and annie came over. vito could not just wait tilli got off the phone, he had to completely go at it. by the time i was done on the phone, the two of them were like full blown going at it and i was pretty pissed. why should i join that shit when they couldnt even wait long enough for me. so i just stood around the side pretty angry, so i got drunk. and then annie and i went down to the bar and i had like i dunno 7 more drinks. i barely remember coming home or anything. it was such a disaster. and i was so mad.

anyway, all that is over now. we had a long talk last night. i dunno. i get something different everytime i talk ot him. i guess maybe that is good. its not just like he is stuck on one thing and thats final. whatever. i am getting tired of dealing with this and dealing with myself. i just hate it all.

my damily got me a new little fishy. i cant decide whether to name is violet or indigo. its like a bluish purple fish. i miss molly so much but this fish needs a good home too.

i feel like such a waste.
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