September 13th, 2001

Felix- to the left

Not even the birds were singing....

It was a day of silence all around the world, but today was a better day. we coped, we cried, we talked and we mourned. people came together in a beautiful way. People say life goes on, but it shouldnt go on yet, it should be a day of pause and of mourning. I cant just move on and put this day past me because it will be a part of me every second of my life. It is as if yesterday wasnt even a day. it was just time stopping. it had to be the longest day of my entire life. it felt like it was a week. All i want to do is go home and be with my people helping them. I feel like this all happened in my backyard and i need to be comforting the people i live with and see each and every day. And now i see how truly amazing the city is and how proud i am to live there. For a person with depression i thought this whole thing would be devistating, but instead, i found people that were absolutely amazing and we came together.i found people that night that i never thought i would and i found a comfort in a place inside of me that i never thought i would. I looked at the world today for the first time, and actually saw some beauty in it instead of the total utter hate i have always felt towards it. i appreciate it now in a way that i never have before. i wonder what all this means as i try to sort out my feeling and emotions trying to find something in me that makes sense. I feel an odd calmness at the same time that i feel an incredible sadness.i dont really know what to think... world peace and respect to y'all