January 26th, 2002

Felix- to the left

the briliant words of my friend jessica...you are amazing.

Depression.....


There are a few things I really hate about this disease. 1) I hate it when people tell me to cheer up. You have NO idea what I'm going through, where do you get the right to tell me to cheer up? That seriously irates me. Especially when family tells me that. 2) I hate the ups and downs. One minute I can be high as a kite, the next, I'm hitting rock bottom, fighting the tears. I can't stand that. 3) How people, many people, can be so ignorant to this disease. Yes, that's right, it's a disease. It's something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. 4) I hate when people don't see how hard I'm trying. I'm really trying hard here, I'm trying to get through this, to break through the darkness into the light. But it's hard and many times I want to give up. I don't have much support around here, I mean, Tiff, you know what my family is like. I don't have that support system with them. And I never will. It's hard to do this by myself. And people just don't understand.
Guess I just wanted to get that off my chest.

thanks jess.
Felix- to the left

whatever you say...

i just realized how totally fucking awsome bush is. they were the first concert i ever went to. i wish i could see them again.

today was strange. I went out last night and dude i have NEVER been that wasted in my entire life. iwas complettly gone. it was amazing. then when i got back i was in the room with michelle trying to convincce her to do it with me lol and then i passed out. today i felt like total crap. i was throwing up all morning. yuck. then i went to eat with josh and andrea.

now me andrea and lil are gonna go see a walk to remember. ahh shane west. i am so excited. i wanna bring it home with me lol.
  • Current Music
    letting the cables sleep, mouth ~bush