February 1st, 2002

Felix- to the left

weird

well today was a very very interesting day let me tell ya. for those of you who care, me and andrea talked it out and we are all good right now. i decided to forgive her for what she said to me cause its just not worth it. I didnt see her all day though until tonight when josh came over. we went down to the eli to get stuff then we came back to hang out with andrea and jeff who seems to be like her new best friend. lol they are cute together anyways. We had so much fun though. i had like a newfound happyness tonight. i know what it is but i will get into that later. so yeah we hung out and just had fun instead of being all sulky and serious and stuff. it was great. i took some cute pictures as well so that should come out good.

anyways on with what made me feel better. last night was horrible and i wanted to just throw it all away. i cut myself really bad and all that and i woke up feeling kinda shitty. i didnt go to any of my classes cause i just couldnt. its that feeling coming back to me again. so i had to get out of here. i needed to get out my anger and aggression towards myself out somewhere so i went and got a tattoo and my eyebrow pierces. lol. they both look so hot though hehe. andrea says the eyebrow ring looks natural on me. this tattoo hurt more then my other 3. poop hehe. now i am gonna go smoke cause its fun.lol

maybe i should start my homework....
  • Current Music
    we're in this together - NIN
Felix- to the left

(no subject)

first off, good luck to al my little people out there, jensen, harry and a few others. Stuff may not get better, but atleast when your older you can party lol ok s i suck at advice right now but thats probably cause i am in such pain.

its freakin 20 degrees out here and the city which my school is in is under a state of emergency cause the wind is blowing so hard its likepuching cars off the road and shit. only in buffalo... plus i woke up sooo sick this morning. my throat hurts, my head hurts and i have a fever. so i missed math but i realy gotta make it to psych. hmmm...

my tattoo hurts like fuck cause its on my hand and i keep smacking it into things. i am gonna be so dead when my parents find out i got an eyebrow ring. they told me i could never come back into the house if i got one...oh well. fuck them. i probably would have hurt myself way more if i didnt get one.

i feel like i have to barf. today sucks ass. plus i am hungry but dont wanna eat :\
  • Current Music
    perfect drug ~nine inch nails
Felix- to the left

hehe try to read through this

survey from

FIRST & MIDDLE NAME: Csilla Michelle
NICKNAMES: csi , scilla, shilaila, poop,
HAIR COLOR: Black and Green
HAIR LENGTH: past my shoulder
EYE COLOR: Brown
HEIGHT: 5'5
BIRTHDAY: 9-27-82
AGE: 19
LOCATION: buffalo, ny or NYC
SHOE SIZE: 9 and a half, 10
ZODIAC SIGN: libra
SCHOOL: university at buffalo
GRADE: uh...sophmore
SIBLINGS: sister cristina, half sister marisa
PETS: a fish..sharky/molly wcant decide if we want it to be a boy or girl lol

FAVORITES
GENRE OF MUSIC: rock/metal/industrial/gothic/
MUSIC ARTIST: Flickerstick, Nine inch nails, incubus, sarah mclachlane, dave navarro
MOVIE: oh not this one again....i have like so many favorites. seven, id4, xfiles, the lost boys, a walk to remember...
ACTOR:james marsters, shane west, kevin spacey, DD, britanny murphey and the all time goddess... Angelina Jolie
BRAND: anything from hot topic
SONG: "The Fragile" - nine inch nails
WORD: fuck, crack, dude
FOOD: Cheese, cheezits
DRINK: mountain dew code red, bargs root beer, snapple rasberry ice tea
NUMBER:13
CANDY: charleston chew, crunch, snickers crunch
TV SHOW: Buffy the Vampire slayer, angel, once and again, er, xfiles
FAST FOOD RESTARAUNT: ick, vegetarians dont have much luck here. i used toke mcdonalds though
NAIL POLISH COLOR: Black, red, weird blue
SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: music, psychology
RADIO STATION: 92.3, 103.3
ANIMAL: kitties
STORES: Hot Topic, guitar world, new age creations, Suncoast
SCENT: cool water, morning glory
ICE CREAM FLAVOR: cherry garcia and banans something lol
QUOTE: she shines in a world full of ugliness. she matters when everything is meaningless. fragile, she doesn't see her beauty. she tries to get away .sometimes it's just that nothing seems worth saving i can't watch her slip away.
HOLIDAY: christmas, Halloween
DAY OF THE WEEK: friday and saturday
MONTH: december

DISLIKES
GENRE OF MUSIC: rap n shit lol
MUSIC ARTIST: ick this list could be miles long.... brit, system of a down, bsb just to name a few
MOVIE: shes all that
ACTOR: mira sorvino and about a billion others
BRAND:abercrombie bleck!!!!!!
SONG: anything j-lo and all that crap
WORD: cooch
FOOD: broccoli
DRINK: Pepsi, coke
COLOR: yellow
NUMBER: 10
CANDY: White chocolate..seriously
TV SHOW: sex and the city
FAST FOOD RESTARAUNT: burger king
NAIL POLISH COLOR: colors that are not cool lol
SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: Math, history
RADIO STATION: hot 97 lol
ANIMAL: ick there are lots. spiders and those monkey things
STORES: abercrombie, jcrew, gap
SCENT: plumeria and like old lady smell
ICE CREAM FLAVOR: cookie dough
QUOTE: he loves me, he loves you not
DAY OF THE WEEK: Monday
MONTH: february

DO YOU
THINK YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE: Sometimes
THINK YOU SMART: no
THINK YOU HAVE COMMON SENSE: Sometimes
THINK YOU ARE POPULAR: not at all
PLAY SPORTS/ WHAT KIND OF SPORTS DO YOU LIKE: dont do sports
SHAVE: mhm
BELIEVE IN ALIENS: Yes
LIKE SITCOMS: Sometimes
FANTASIZE ABOUT THE SAME SEX AS YOU: all the time
THINK YOUR STYLE/FASHION IS COOL: it's me, thats all that counts
HAVE ANY PIERCINGS: lots and lots 10 to be exact hehe
DO DRUGS: always
DRINK: yes
HAVE SEX: only with girls...so far hehe

HAVE YOU EVER
SMOKED: everyday
DRANK: Yes lots
WENT BUNJEE JUMPING: noooo
HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER: a little
BROKE THE LAW: hehe yeah
RAN FROM THE COPS: No
KISSED A GIRL: yes yes yes
KISSED A GUY: yeah
LAUGHED: uh........yeah
BEEN SARCASTIC: every word. teehee
BEEN EMBARASSED: yep
CRIED: All the time
WANTED TO DIE: many times
BEEN SCARED HALF 2 DEATH: half 2 death?
THOUGHT ABOUT BEING GAY: does bisexual count? gay all the way..yeah
STOLE ANYTHING: yep, it was a habbit that i outgrew
MADE YOURSELF THROW UP: yeah, its a problem
THOUGHT ABOUT OR TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF: Yes
WENT SKINNY DIPPING: hell no
BEEN IN LOVE: yes... =(
HAD A MILK MUSTACHE: hehe not by accident
SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND DID NOT MEAN IT: hmm..i hope not
GOTTEN INTO A FIGHT WITH YOUR PET: oh yeah, it wasnt cool. i still feel bad.
HAD A DREAM ABOUT SOMETHING WEIRD AND IT HAPPENED THE NEXT DAY: a little bit but it was no big deal
STALKED SOMEONE: hehe yeah..many
HAD A MUD BATH: ick no
WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR
BLUE: sky
SOCKS: white
MIRROR: reflection
CRACKER: saltines
COW: farm
FRANCE: those funny hats
JELLY: green jello
FISH: smelly
BOOGER: hahahhahahaha
LAST PERSON WHO
EMAILED YOU: my friend jessica
YOU SAW A MOVIE WIT: Andrea and lauralyn..a walk to remember
YOU WENT TO THE MALL WITH: michelle
FRIENDS
LAUGHS THE WIERDEST: andrea sometimes
LOUDEST: michelle and john
MOST QUIET: Me
COULD BE A MODEL: lauralyn
THE FUNNIEST: lauralyn and josh
THE MOST BORING: Me
MOST ATHLETIC: maggie
THE HOTTEST: hmm we wont go there. ok lauralyn and josh
MOST TALLEST: josh
MOST SHORTEST: erica
MOST CRAZIEST: meee
MOST SKINNIEST: andrea

FAMILY
DO YOU INTEND TO GET MARRIED: if i find my perfect person
WHAT WILL YOU NAME YOUR KIDS: utopia, parker, and something else i forgot that was really hot
WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE LIKE: husband?? i just want him to be good for me and us to be like totally connected. hotness would help...
WHERE WILL YOU LIVE: who cares

RANDOM
WHO ARE YOUR GOOD FRIENDS: andrea, josh, kara, jensen
WHOSE YOUR BEST ONLINE BUDDY: harry =)
HOW MANY EMAIL ADDRESSES DO YOU HAVE: omg like 10
IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND CHANGE ONE THING IN TIME, WHAT WOULD IT BE: me being born
WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE: pantene pro v
WHATS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR: never finding anyone that loves me
HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE ON YOUR BUDDY LIST: like 40
HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU HAVE BLOCKED: hehe..like 10
THE 3 BEST INSIDE JOKES YOU HAVE: "its all about the lighting!" "the pants are not small..your just too big.."
WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU WANT TO DRIVE: A Volkswagen Beetle or audi tt
WHAT KIND OF SHOES DO YOU WEAR: black platform boots
IN: out
WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE: my parents have a nissan something
WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU CALLED: josh
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED: a gothic castle
HOW DO YOU EAT AN OREO: i take out the creme from the inside and eat the cookie part
IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE: to be happy
WHO IS THE HOTTEST GUY/GIRL IN YOUR SCHOOL: Dave is soooo hot, and there is this one girl i saw once who was soo gorgeous
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE: that i wouldnt be so fat
WHAT DO YOU REALLY DISLIKE: inconsiderate people who think everything revolves around them and they dont care about the feelings of others around them. oh and i really hate magenta...the color, not the girl.
DESCRIBE YOUR FIRST KISS: weird
LAST FOUR NUMBERS IN YOUR PHONE NUMBER: 1510
IF YOU COULD HAVE SEX WITH ONE CELEB, WHO WOULD IT BE: shane west or angelina jolie..ok thats two but they are different gender so it doesnt count.
  • Current Music
    lol perfect drug again~ nin