February 19th, 2002

Felix- to the left

(no subject)

Today is Flick day. its supposed to be the best day of my life. So why is it turning out to be the worst? i dont even wanna go anymore cause i am just so upset at everything that is happening.

Andrea had the guts to get mad at me alst night cause i was like talking to John and not her , this is after she spent the entire night leaving me out of their plans fro teh entire day. i am so fed up with everything already. i just wanna leave here. i wish i could go and jump off the roof or something.

i missed my therapy today but at this point i dont care. i hope i do die cause i really dont wanna deal with this anymore. its just getting really frustrating and its starting to lack a point.
  • Current Music
    jimmy eats world
Felix- to the left

flickerriffic!!!! =)

just went down to see josh cause i was about to completely explode. everyone in teh world was being a bitch and i just couldnt take it anymore. John told me Josh was back and I just ran down before i burst into tears. He totally calmed me down though like he always does. thank god for him.

i wish i wasnt so cold to him last night. i dont even know why. maybe i was just pissed at the whole finding better friends then me thing so i took it out on him. He looked a tiny bit hurt, but he seemed totally over it today. i love him so much. how he can bring such peace in me when i cant find it at all.

So Flickerstick here i come. 5 freakin hours before the concert. how freakin rediculous is this? but atleast I get to see them. i know some people would kill for it. so i will just suck it up and deal with it. ANd then enjoy the flickermen when they come on. I get to see abandoned pools and rubyhorse too. i am excited to see rubyhorse.

I know i will miss Josh though. Maybe the fact that he wont be around tonight helped me in calming down about going to the concert. its weird what love can do...
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"when you are with me, I'm free...."
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    my sacrafice ~creed