February 23rd, 2002

Felix- to the left

yeah, this is my life

So after Josh's whole RA ness i decided that it was just never gonna happen between us, no matter what. So i am just gonna be the best, best friend i can ever be to him. Cause right now i have been acting totally bitchy to him just cause i like him and i dont like the fact that i like him. Plus the way he acts? it pisses me off. So i am just not gonna let it get to me anymore. I am just gonna be there and be nice, cause thats what he wants. So thats it for me. I will not get lost in love, or pulled in and be taken over by it. Cause i cant do that anymore and its not fair. Its gonna be ahrd as fuck but i really have to do this for me so i can stay sane. What i see in him is everything i want, but everything i cant have. SO i mine as well just get over it. He cant be my drug anymore. i have to quit...

"Can you take it all away, can you take it all away, when you shoved it in my face..."
  • Current Music
    Blurry ~puddle of mud
Felix- to the left

its toooo hot!!!

I cant believe this crazy Buffalo weather. It was snowing like 2 days ago and today it is soooo sunny and nice out that i could wear a tanktop! except i wasnt prepared so i cant =p hehe. SO i woke up at like 3:30. how crazy is that? I stayed up last night till like 6, not getting high, but painting. That was kinda cool. I went to Michelles and had only one beer, then i picked up the paints and came back. i was so proud of myself! hehe.

So i called Josh and asked him if he wanted to get food and he really didnt so i was just like thats ok. And i am trying not to feel blah about it. i keep reminding myself..just friends, just friends, just friends...
lucky me.

so today should be boring enough. Josh has RA duty from 8-1am which sucks a lot but i think i will find something to do. Maybe dye my hair again. hehe
  • Current Music
    Not for nothing ~Dave Navarro