April 2nd, 2002

Felix- to the left

the other day

i wrote this in my other journal the other day and i just felt like i really needed to put it in here:

wow i havnt updated in a million years. i have just been very preoccupied with Vito. Its very nice actually. better then i thought it would be. We have this wonderful connection going on, and a pretty good understanding, which is all we need.

i went home for half of spring break. the other half i spent with him. We had an awsome time just hanging out and fooling around and having lots of fun. i wish we could live in a hotel forever lol. i'm so glad that i am getting to know him so well. he really is a wonderful person, and so special. he doesnt even know it. he has no idea what a completely different and refreshing kind of guy he is. he has this truth in him and this beauty that shines everytime he smiles, or looks at you a certain way. its like, anytime we are together, everything just falls into place and i can honestly feel what true happiness could be. and i know nothing perfect last forever, but even this time with him is so wonderful and i wouldnt change a thing.

this is what life is about.
Felix- to the left

*one day i'll fly away*

i went to bed around 2am and woke up at 11:40 and i am still tired as hell. I cant believe i got to bed so early hehe. then i wake up to an im from michelle saying she got pot and she wants me to come over. lol. i almost felt bad, but i didnt really, which is good because i am really trying not to smoke anymore. I even quit smoking cigarettes. its so hard though. last night i had a dream that i was smoking and then i got mad at myself for smoking cause i was being so good about it. hehe, i am so silly.

so today was going to be a productive day, but i dont feel very productive. i think i am just gonna take a shower, and then paint. i havnt tried my new paints yet, and i got a cool new paint brush.

i was supposed to go to therapy today, but i didnt. i think i am good for now though. my tongue hurts like a bitch and i can barely talk or sing which is very frustrating, but it doesnt hurt as much as last night. i dont even want to look at how gross it must look right now after sleeping all night. lol. eww.
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