April 5th, 2002

Felix- to the left

one is the loneliest number

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So i went to take a nap after ER, then Vito called, thank god cause i was gettin down about hacking up my arm =\ we went to eat then we came back and did some math. hehe. then we tried to sleep at like 7am, but us + bed does not equal sleep, usually anyway. and now he is doing the lesson plan for todays class that i tried to talk him out of. lol. and his feet are so cute.

so today i am gonna be tired as hell but somehow i will get through the day cause i always do. And then there is the weekend, which as Vito pointed out, isnt much different from the rest of the week. lol but atleast there seems to be less stress. i love these days.

i am very mad at myself that i cut though. and i dont even know why i did it. well i read something that upset me so maybe that was it. yeah. but i shouldnt have done it. i havnt done it since that day....

It smells like sex in here...
  • Current Music
    hands clean ~alanis morissette
Felix- to the left

precious illusions...

waaaaay too much math today. lol i am so tired out but i cant sleep. i want to do something tonight but i dont know if either of us will have the energy. Vito went home to sleep just now and i guess i'm just chillin. hehe.

i felt bad cause last night i started to get weird right before we were gonna fool around, cause i remembered the cuts on my arm and i got really self conscious about them, but i didnt want to say anything. and he knew that something was up, but i didnt want to be like, oh yeah i cut myself, cause i was already so mad at myself for it. so yeah, that was that. but i got over it cause he is just so sweet about everything and made me feel better by just smiling.

it was so nice out today though. its snowing like crazy, but its not really cold, and the clouds look beautiful. and i actually noticed it, which never happens cause i never find things beautiful. i feel my sadness pulling at me, but i think i will get through this...
  • Current Music
    21 things i want in a lover ~alanis morissette
Felix- to the left

you are the shit =p

this afternoon was pretty weird...

i had to help andrea for the rest of the afternoon cause she got her wisdom teeth pulled and she was in such pain.i hated to see her like that. and i was glad i could help her.

so its friday night and i am sitting here doing nothing. i want to go out, but who knows at this point....

Vito will probably come over. hopefully. i dunno. i like it when he is around. everything seems brighter.

next week is going to be busy, i dont know if i like that. its like any more then what i am doing now makes me want to cry. so i dont think about it. i just think about the here and now.
  • Current Music
    fortysix & 2 ~tool