April 10th, 2002

Felix- to the left


Take the "How slutty are you" Test

created by sami

lol i think this is totally funny cause i am so not a slut. they are basing this on crazy things people will do...hehe.

i am kinda upset right now just thinking about stuff. too much time to think. Vito and I just talked on the phone and i kinda feel bad cause i feel like i left him with stuff to think about that wasnt exactly good. so i might or might not go to see clinton tomorrow cause i dont really want to and some people just have to watch what they say.

i have to be stupider then i thought. i dont know why i keep doing this. i cut myself again just cause i was upset and i had such an urge to, and it felt good while i was doing it, but afterwards i was just so mad at myself for it. i always do that to myself. and i always feel like less of a person when i do it cause its so not normal, and its like proving to everyone that i am fucked up and there is something wrong with me.

now its like 4am and i just wanna go to sleep but andrea wants to come over and talk to me cause there was a cop at her door. i wonder whats up...
  • Current Music
    tell a lie ~nine inch nails
Felix- to the left

take the wheel and drive...

i took a really nice shower this morning and got ready right on time. i figured it was nice enough to wear a skirt so i put on my black velvet one that i got at hot topic. I was thinking a lot about what i would do for the summer, like how i would get the money to live some place with Vito. If i start looking for a job now, i'm sure i will find one. Plus i could talk to people and see if i have any connections. i'm kinda nervouse about this whole thing but i actually think its gonna work out. I just have to figure out something to tell my parents...

so today i think i am just gonna go to class and then hang out with Vito. Maybe we will go to The Spot or something. or finally see Blade 2. hehe.

eventually stuff has to work out...right?
  • Current Music
    crowded elevator ~incubus
Felix- to the left


It's soooo nice and sunny out today. unfortunately its like the wrong day for it to be so. I mean, its nice and all, i just prefer a cloudy day today.

everyone is outside playing and enjoying the sun, which is nice to see, and everything is pretty much good with me too, so it all works out.

i wish there were some things i could just erase in my life. like start over with a brand new slate. I wouldnt change much, but there are some things i would definitly fix. Mostly about myself. some things are just so deeply imbeded in me right now that its hard to change. i try as much as i can, especially if it bothers other people, but this is me...you know?

today i have to work up a whole thing to convince my parents that i can move into my own apartment in the city. this is so not going to go well, but i am not putting off to the last minute like i usually do with uncomfortable things, cause enough is enough with all that.

summer should go better then i thought it would have.
  • Current Mood
    hopeful hopeful