April 13th, 2002

Felix- to the left

hey baby...

The No Doubt concert was pretty amazing. Gwen Stefani had to be the most gorgeous thing i saw all day. I couldnt believe after all these years of wanting to see No Doubt i was actually standing there watching her. The place was so packed though and everyone was being pushed around and squished. By the end of the night i was so hot and tired and dizzy. it was crazy. But we all had a pretty awsome time. Afterwards it was raining and it was so awsome outside. Andrea and I were jumping in puddles and just acting totally silly. its been a long time since i did that. it was a great feeling to just not care. hehe.

then we went to eat at ihop, which was cool at first, but then it got really overwhelming and i just wanted to leave, but we had to wait for everyone to finish, but i just sat there and tried to make the best of it. it was fun hanging out with John again. i miss him when hes not here. i notice my mood fluctuates with his so perfectly and we are always in the same place lol. good for company.

afterwards we went to the loung to hang out but i really didnt want to, so i came back to room for a while, but then i felt bad that i just left everyone so i went back. we talked for a few more hours then Vito and i came back to my room. we talked about events of the night, and what we noticed about eachother. i felt like i wasnt being as understanding as i should have been, and wasnt really being fair to him. i dont want him to change, or to fix things for me. it was different if maybe we were going out, or established that we were "together" or something, but now i just feel bad. i dont know, i can never do anything right usually. i'm so worried about screwing everything up, but i always end up doing it anyway...
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    letting the cables sleep ~bush