April 24th, 2002

Felix- to the left

(no subject)

ok, i dont want to sound weird or anything, but i really need to write this, cause this is what i am feeling...

last night, i felt alone. i felt like part of me wasnt there. it was weird, but i knew what it was. It was the fact that he wasnt here with me. Not here, not in the other room, but far away. And i felt like a part of me was far away too. Now i know this sounds cliche...but he completes me. When we are together, i feel like we are one person. I look out for him more then i look out for myself. I always want to do whats best for him. We share eachothers thoughts and feelings and I know what he is thinking and when, and i am pretty sure he can do the same with me. So when he is not here, there is like a void.

I mean, I was ok last night. i got some stuff done in terms of organizing and throwing stuff away that i didnt need, but it just wasnt the same. So i took out all my poetry and searched through all my stuff for writing to show him, because i want to and need to. and he is right, i need to let him in. And i know he is pessimistic about the way things will turn out between us, and that hurts...but i figure we have something so wonderful right now, so i'll live in the now and have the best time i can until i cant anymore. And then i went to sleep, cause i just didnt want to be awake anymore. because i wanted today to come, because then iwould see him, and everything would be ok.

this is goth girl getting all mushy... =)
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