April 25th, 2002

Felix- to the left

packing and packing

Went to class, did boring math today. Hung out with Vito. Waited for him to finish with the test. then we went to give the people my presciption for new glasses, then we went to get a litterbox for his stupis ex, then we went to tops to get boxes so i can start packin shit away. then he dropped me off.

The rest of the day i just hung out with Andrea and cleaned and packed and organized. it was so very fun. not. I watched DC and Felicity for the first time in like weeks and weeks. that wasnt very fun either. we went down to see Josh for a while. We talked abotu stuff. he thought it was very cute that Vito took me to get my eyes checked. and he said he liked him very much. score. then i continued packing stuff away. and now i am sitting here tired as hell, wanting to go to bed, but not being able too. and i am bored. and have no motivation to do anything useful. Vito might come over later. he might not. we'll see. today was just fuckin...fucked. thats it.
  • Current Music
    all you wanted ~michelle branch
Felix- to the left

with you always...

So i was just sitting around, bored as hell, and andrea asked me if i wanted to go hang out with her and josh. So i went. I havnt done that in a long time, and it was good. We talked and laughed and i remembered how good and fun all that was. then around 1:30 i went back to my room to see if vito had called, and he did. SO i called him back and he told me about some stuff that went on with him today and how he was too tired to come over. I was dissapointed, but totally understood. i wanted to see him but i knew that after the day he had, he just really needed to sleep. i just hate when bad stuff happens to him. and he tells me its happened before, and i am thinking, it shouldnt have happened at all. you dont deserve that. and i felt so bad for him tonight. i cried on the phone just listening to him. I dont think its fair that all the good people get so much shit. he deserves so much better then the crap he gets from certain people.

anyway, then i went back down to hang with andrea and josh, and we just talked for like an hour more cause i was just way too tired and somewhat depressed. So now i wanna go to sleep, but once again i cant, and at this point i just wanna do anything to make me go to sleep. i am so sick of this. And i cant stand people i love getting hurt...
"We perceive when love begins and when it declines by our embarrassment when alone together."
  • Current Music
    hands clean ~alanis morissette
Felix- to the left

*now i know who i'm not, i still dont know who i am*

dont know why i am updating right now, i dont really have much to say. I just woke up so i can shower and then Vito and i might hang out before class, if he wakes up. i hope he doesnt miss class again cause then hell be upset.

I'm wearing a shirt that smells like him. hehe. i love that smell. its so comforting. jeez i'm weird...

i wanted to cut last night. so bad. normally i would have, but i didnt. i held back and i just put it out of my mind, and i didnt cut. that was the first time i felt like that and didnt actually do it. =)

now i'm off to take a shower.
  • Current Music
    precious illusions ~alanis morissette