July 1st, 2002

Felix- to the left

...<3

Gay Pride Parade and all that was a big hit. Vito looked beautiful, and i had pink hair. we walked around for ages and then we went home. We watched a movie with Annie and then walked her home. Vito was pretty tired and i was dissapointed cause him dressed like a girl turned me on so much. Plus i was upset that he didnt want to come to jersey with me. It was just so important to me and it wasnt getting through. so we had a huge arguement over that, that resulted in me crying harder then i have in a long time...then he felt bad and said he would go. i dint want him to do that. i wanted him to just want to go because it was important to me, and because i really wanted to be there with him. but he wont believe me. he thinks i just want him there cause my parents dont treat me like shit when he is there. that didnt even cross my mind. but he doesnt believe me...

i would miss him too much if i just went without him. is that bad that i cant even be a week without him? but why would i do that if i didnt have to? i just feel so alone without him. i wish i wouldnt have such strong emotions...but what am i supposed to do about it? i love him too much i guess. i love him so much...
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