August 28th, 2002

Felix- to the left

where does it say i have to be perfect?

The last few days have been really out of control. A little too tough for both of us. I guess our mental instability is just getting the better of us. I cut again last night. i couldnt help it, i was so upset. except it didnt give me the relief it usually does. maybe cause i knew it hurts him more than it helped me at that point...even though thats not true. why is everything so demented in my head.

i miss josh and andrea like crazy. they called me yesterday...they were both at andreas apartment...i wish i was there. i was having some serious thoughts about my situation, and the pros and cons of my decision.And vito wasnt helping much by actually telling me to go back... but once again i decided what i was doing now was worth it, and that makes me happy...but i wish i could have both. I might go visit them the week of sept 11th cause thats when we really became friends. i cant wait to see them.

my family went to new jersey today. i really wanted to go withe them but Kinga is finally going to come into the city. it will be good to see her and get my mind off of things.

so i dont know how things are right now. they are not good...but they are simmered down. and i wish i didnt cut myself...
  • Current Mood
    confused confused
Felix- to the left

yayayayayyayay!!

YAY!!! i am going to Buffalo on Sept 10th and staying till that weekend!!! i think that made me the happiest girl in the world!! i am gonna get to see Josh and Andrea and John and Heather!! yippeee!!!!
  • Current Mood
    bouncy bouncy