September 3rd, 2002

Felix- to the left

touching you makes me die inside

We just got back from goth night at Alchemy...which is really cbgbs gallery. it was small but cool with good music. I liked it but i cant decide if it was better or worse then club dark. We left for a little while to get food, then we went back and watched people dance. I wanted to dance a little but Vito was bored so we left. On the way home i asked him if he would look at me and notice me like he looks at all the girls when we go out. and he said probably not, cause of the way i dress and maybe if i was lighter in weight...that made me feel like shit...but i know he is attreacted to skinny girls, and i am not skinny...i should jsut face it. so of ocurse he would like prettier girls. he did say i was cuter than he was though. i dont think so...i mean, i am pretty i guess...but not pretty enough. i feel like i just got him by luck, cause people would never look at me...i dont know, i guess i am just being silly.

we also talked about if he would hook up with annie when i was gone. He was going to...and then i told him that i would feel bad about it and weird. But i didnt want to stop him from doing it if he wanted to. it jsut bothered me cause he has a hard time fooling around with me...but then he would go do it with her...I dont want to be jealous. thats not how i want this relationship to be. but how else am i supposed to feel????

on a lighter note, he looked very good tongight. i think he should dress goth more often. and i'm glad he came out with me. it was good to go somewhere with him other then like where we have to go...'

our 6 month anniversary is coming up soon. sept 8th yo. now thats something...

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  • Current Music
    slept so long ~queen of the damned soundtrack
Felix- to the left

(no subject)

i was just laying with him in bed (we always eat cereal and then he lets me lay there and cuddle with him a little =) and he told me i was pretty, very pretty...and it didnt matter if he would have looked at me then, cause he would look at me now. and that makes me feel a lot better. i know he loves me and thinks i am pretty and thats good enough for me.

he can be so sweet can i not love him?
  • Current Music
    same song as last entry for lik 4 hours on repeat...