January 7th, 2003

Felix- to the left

drunken blah

so yesterday we decided to go to barnes and noble. vito needed to do some job stuff and i wanted to look for some books. we got a really awsome caramel brownie teehee. i read some books on wicca and paganism. i'm becoming more and more sure that i want to explore that in myself. its seems like such an interesting and beautiful religion...and something that i would choose, not my parents. so that was fun. i wanted to go back today but i was sick from last night and vito was just in a yucky mood...probably also from last night...we, well i got so drunk and stupid. vito only drank a little and so did the other person at our house. i ended up talking about things that i maybe shouldnt have so i dont know how i feel about that today. then we all got wild and crazy and did the usual. haha i guess i wanted to do it this time. besides, i missed hooking up with a girl. but i knew i would kinda regret it today, not the fooling around, but the things i said.

the only thing is, i am off the pill cause i ran out, and last night we were so drunk that i guess we just went with it, i mean, it was amazing and worth it, but now i have to go to planned parenthood again. i fuckin hate that place. they treat me like shit. i kinda dont wanna go and just hope for the best, which i have done before so i am not that worried...i just wish if i did get the pill that he would make it worth the trouble. haha does that sound stupid?? i hate that i have to always be the responsible one though. sometimes i just wish i was a guy :(
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