January 29th, 2003

Felix- to the left

falling

so he started up again today. same shit. so i told him fine, in august i'll go back to buffalo, there is no way i could go back to school though cause i would be too devastated and id have to re-adjust.plus i would have no way to pay, or get around... but i think that shut him up for a bit. but then we got to counceling and he was all sad about it i guess. we discussed it a little in there, which helped a lot. i think we should never talk about these things without becky. we are morons. lol anyway, when we got home everything was good. i tell him things will get better, we just have to stick by eachother through the hard parts too. you cant always just get the good. he forgets buffalo i think. he forgets a lot of things. anyway, we came home and ate, and watched buffy, then he went to bed. tomorrow he has to get up early to do a workshop thing again, and i have to go with my dad to get a digital camera. i am so excited to finally be getting it.

ive been talking to josh lately about stuff and hes been a big help. ive been thinking a lot lately about that whole thing, and i really miss him. i'm starting to have that feeling of how unfair it all turned out to be, again. then today he tells me he talked to ken...and that was like woah. i almost forgot how much i liked ken, how much he was in my heart. how much we shared with eachother. and how he would have been with me if it wasnt for him going away.

so now i am worried about money we dont have enough to pay for next months rent. how fun. like, what the fuck am i going to do? ugh. and my eyebrow ring is growing out...does anyone know if i can repierce it in the same spot or close to it?
  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious
Felix- to the left

remember the day i made a mistake

I'm gonna make a mistake-
I'm gonna do it on purpose
I'm gonna waste my time
Cuz I'm full as a tick
And I'm scratching at the surface
And what I find is mine
And when the day is done, and I look back
And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around
All the advice I shunned, and I ran
Where they told me not to run, but I sure
Had fun, so
I'm gonna fuck it up again
I'm gonna do another detour
Unpave my path
And if you wanna make sense
Whatcha looking at me for
I'm no good at math
And when I find my way back,
The fact is I just may stay, or I may not
I've acquired quite a taste
For a well-made mistake
I wanna mistake why can't I make a mistake?
I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why-
Do I wanna do right, of course but
Do I really wanna feel I'm forced to
Answer you, hell no
I've acquired quite a taste
For a well-made mistake, I wanna
Make a mistake, why can't I make a mistake
I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why-
  • Current Music
    mistake -fiona apple