February 2nd, 2004

Felix- to the left

i kinda always knew...

so lets recap shall we...
saturday night beth and katie came over. i got some shrooms from michelle and it turned out they were shit. either that or we just didnt do enough. but either way it was super fun. we smoked up and drank and laughed like the whole night. it was good to get my mind off of things, and to know that i have friends that can be so sweet and cool. so yeah we hung out and got pizza and we were just a bunch of silly girls.

so the next day vito flew in from the city. he was supposed to call me before he left but he didnt. go figure. so his mom came and picked me up, then we went to the airport. i was so happy to see vito. he looked a little down and blah, but he looked really good (as alwayshehe) but he was really tired and i felt like he was a little detached. so then we went back to his moms and had diner which was really good. i never like vegetables, but she always seems to make them so good. then vito went to lay down. i hung out and did my homework cause his mom was gonna drive us back home that night. i was excited cause i thought he would come home. but it got late and he said he didnt want to leave or anything, but that i could stay there, so i was pretty tired anyway and i wanted to stay there with him, so i slept in a sleeping bag in his room. pretty comfy actually. i just feel weird cause i feel like he is upset with me about being upset that he was doing coke again. and that i was crying about him not calling me back or helping me out, cause he was doin that shit. and i feel like i had every right to be, but hes like resentful or something. so i dunno. then this morning his mom drove me to class. i told him to call me when he wakes up but he still hasnt called.

so tonight his mom is supposed to pick me up after she gets out of work, and we are gonna have diner, and then vito is supposed to come home with me. somehow i have a feeling that things arent going to go as planned, and i am gonna end up shit on again. i hope not though. i just need something to go right.

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