July 13th, 2004

Felix- to the left

oh go away

UGH i am soooo sick. this fuckin sucks. i have been mildly sick once this year. so of course now that its summer i get sick. atleast during the winter i understand. well its not like im doing anything anyway. i wonder how long it will take till boredom sets it.

so since ive gotten back ive been watching stargate a lot, i went out on friday to the cont. got SO fucked up. i had a few to drink and was mildly drunk, then we started talking to todd and some other guys and they had the stronest pot ever. i thought they were kidding when thy said it was like govrnment strength pot. i have never been that fucked up from pot in my entire life. i couldnt even stand up. so michelle and i ened up sleeping at mikes and left at 9am.

and since then ive been sick. i dont even remember the rest of saturday. sunday i ordered pizza and watched qaf which was amazing. im so glad they showed mikey and ben getting married i toronto. it was nice to see that on tv.:) then today i just lay in bed horribly sick an watched stargate sg-1 like all day. damn i love that show to death. i wonder why it never caught on sooner. i loved the movie and all. i dunno. maybe it was at the wrong times.

so yeah vito has been doing great at work. hes been doing a lot of math, but he seems a lot happier which is great. hes been craving drugs more that usual though. dont know what thats all about but i hate it. i keep having nightmares of when he od'd and it fuckin scares me. he just doest understand. and i know it wasnt the coke but still. i dont want to ever go through that again. i guess when you dont have to go through things, you just never will. and it sucks. i hate being so worried about it. sometimes i just wanna be like fine! do it. but i cant. grrr.love.
  • Current Mood
    sick sick
Felix- to the left

fashion advice at 2am

oh and goodness. i tried to wear a halter top today. not recommended for people with DD boobs. yeah. ouch. my neck and back hurt like hell. haha im such a dork. but i actually didnt wear any bra with it which for me is like unheard of. and it wasnt so bad. except for the halter top cutting into my neck. yeah. not good.

oh man the things i write about when im sick.
  • Current Music
Felix- to the left


i found this quote in one of my commuities journals. so damn true...

"There are two seasons in Buffalo...winter and construction."

fuckin consruction so damn early in the morning. so yeah im still sick. last night i watched xfiles for a million hours on tnt and then vito told me i could sleep in his bed. its so much cooler in there. damn. so we tried to sleep but couldnt and we talked about a few things. mostly about the drug stuff and sex and stuff. blah. lol. but then we did it finally, i regret not letting it go on for longer but it was just so nice to kiss him and be with him and have him kiss me back like that. its been a while since theres been passion. so yeah we did that for a while and then he went to do his math for his class and i went to sleep.

this morning we had this whole convo about love and being together and everything. sometimes it makes me sad how he feels about love and relationships and i wonder if i can really be happy with it. but then i think about how much i love him and he loves me and thats good enough for me. just some sign of wanting to just commit in some form of completeness would be nice. oh well.

so now i am sitting around watching scifi and still being so sick. i feel like my nose is gonna fall off. grrr

i think we are getting a cable modem tomorrow! fast internet!!!! its been a while. and then i wont have a life cause ill be on it all the time. like i need to be more antisocial. lol