December 9th, 2004

Felix- to the left

grandma <3

today was so fuckig hard. i didnt thik id get through it. i wasnt gonna do anything but i talked myself into getting up and going to take my test. vito came with me and we took a cab. i could barely walk and was just so dizzy. i dunno wtf. me being all upset i guess. i took my test but i couldnt concentrate. it was likethe words were swimming infront of my face and i had to read everything like 5 times. so bad. then i dropped off my english portfolio and tried to fin my wmens studies teacher cause i just couldnt do my presentation today. i dropped off the stuff i did and hoped that was enough. then we came home and i just lay down and cried and slept a while. ive been crying so much ever since. so im going home tomorrow and then the wake is on sunday and the funeral is monday. i know im gonna die when i walk into that house. god i feel like this isnt even happening. i talked vito into going with me after a lot of woah. but hes coming for support nd thats all that matters. i really needed him for this and iguess he tried for the most part. so here i am. and i just dye the front of my hair bright pinnk last night. now everyone is gonna be like oh yeah here is that freak. at this oint thats the last thing i care about now though.

oh and why am i not surprised at this:
You scored as Alcohol. Woooooooooo man. Party on! But you better chill out after you get outta college, cuz you don't want to be an asshole alcoholic; an embarassment to the family. Never drink and drive, and think about the damage alcohol does to your liver.
















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