January 21st, 2005

Felix- to the left

no im not ok

you think im just talking. but im not. my best friends apparently dont even see it. im not good right now. im really not good. my head is building up so much static it hurts. and no one seems to really care. no im not writing this so people go "oh i care, i care!" im writting this because i need to. for myself. because it hurts so bad that i can hardly take it anymore. my body cant contain this anymore.

and im really fucking scared. cause i dont know whats gonna happen. and i dont know what i am gonna do. i dont care if its giving up, or copping out. because if you have any idea what this pain feels like, you know that just being here is being brave enough already. im shaking, and hurting, and wanting to just slice all the blood out of me.

everything else just seems so far away.
  • Current Music
    are you alive ~BSG theme
Felix- to the left

i need to make a friday icon lol

eep im excited about tonight!! :p

i love my scifi.

who else is fuckin excited?

and then i get to dress up, go out and get drunk. hopefully tonight will be better then last night. which was a disaster in a can. also, my hair is being a bum again and i need to get it re-cut and layered. its too long now for it to spike and poof.

yeah and i missed my classes today. iknew i would cause last night was just so bad. i just couldnt get up and go. i wasnt ebout to deal with life, and the cold. and the people. but i was sad i missed cyberporn :( very sad. what went on today?

but.....yay friday.
  • Current Music
    scifi