January 23rd, 2005

Felix- to the left

kennnnn <333333321

i really thought tonight was gonna suck. but it turned out to be pretty fuckin awsome. i forgot how much i missed hanging out with the old crown and how much fun we used to have. it was hard getting into it at first cause i was pretty upset about the whole ken thing. but i had some drinks and drugs and danced my heart out. they played all the good shit too. Amanda was there, and brianna, michelle, Mike and his gf heather who is really awsome. i like her a lot. then jill and skyy met up with us and we all just hung out and danced. i even danced with skyy who is an awsome dancer :). i missed ken, but it was like old times. then afterwards we were all pretty awake and didnt want to go our seperate ways yet so we went to eat at Panos. first time there lol. it was cool. so we ate and talked and had a wonderful time. i am so glad i decided to go out and not just sit at home on my ass being all depressed. friends always help with that.

i just hope my friends know how much i care about them and love them <3

tomorrow im going over to mikes to do his hair and stuff. heather, brigid, jill and skyy will prolly be there too. fun for all! jills gonna make me some pink and black falls with braids. im so excited! :)
  • Current Mood
    drained drained
Felix- to the left

...

im trying not to thing about how the two most important people in my life hate me. or whatever. hate is a strong word. hopefully it wont ever come to that. i guess just...dont wanna see me.

i wrote a bunch in my other journal. the paper one lol. things like this just tear me apart. i cut myself so bad cause i just couldnt take it anymore. i couldnt stop crying. and i knew he would just be annoyed if he heard me.

i dont think im going to my class tomorrow. i just cant do it with all this shit. i wish i could just dissapear. hide somewhere forever. i wonder if at this point anyone would even notice.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed