Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.

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all in one entry

i hate how i never update in here anymore. it really upsets me. i feel like i am gonna forget so much if i dont write it down. it gets stressful. grrr.

anyway, my sisters graduation was nice.she looked so grown up. it was weird and cool at the same time.the graduation ceremony brought back a lot of memories, happy and sad. then vito met us for lunch at tavern on the green. it was cool. the people there sucked but it was fun hanging out. when we came home we just slept like forever lol.

friday i slept a lot too. dont know why. i think it was pot lol. then at night i went with annie to meet her friend dwayne who is gonna be here for a month. he is like 35 and from canada. and he really likes her. he buys her all kinds of stuff. and she doesnt like him back but she still leads him on. its shitty. he is a really sweet, nice guy. so we hung out at his place for a while. talked, ate, drank, then we went home and went to bed i think. memory fades when you do too much drugs. yup. vito finally smoked pot right, and he got super high and then fell asleep like i have never seen before. it was so cute and funny. i love him so much.

saturday was major intensness. i went to my parents house in the morning to get some money and say goodbye to my grandma. i hung out with my sister for a bit. she was getting ready for a party. then shannon and astrid came over and we hung out for like 10 min lol. they are cool peeps. hehe. i went to rickies and finally bought some more dye cause my hair is gettin real bad. people think its orange. not good. so i was gonna dye it cause brigid was supposed to come and i was supposed to meet lily at the batcave that night, so i wanted it to look good. then i found out brigid couldnt come cause they got in an accident. i was pretty worried and upset. so i went to sleep. i woke up kinda late and we decided we were gonna do E anyway cause we were gonna do it with brigid when she came over and then go clubbing. so we invited annie over and did e at like 9. i got all ready for the batcave first, talked to lily and everything. so after like two hours and 2 pills i wasnt feeling shit and i was getting pissed, vito and annie were like feeling good and i was just like blah. then i took another one of a different kind and i finally started feeling a little something, but annie was totally fucked up so we kinda focused on her. i was just not getting high at all. just like dizzy and sick. so i took another one and we fooled around a lot. i have massive hickeys. it looks like i got beat up. haha it was so embarassing, but cool at the same time. then we like layed down and just talked for hours. totally forgetting about the batcave and lily, and dwayne who we were also supposed to meet. like time flew by and when i realized, it was just too late. but it was so good to just talk about things from my childhood that i never remembered before, and to talk about incidents with annie and share with her all the bad shit that happened to me. then she talked a long time about her growing up stuff and i was starting to feel good. but vito wanted her to talk more, so i feel like i missed out on my peak, but i guess it was ok. we still had an awsome time and incredible sex hehe. we stayed up all freakin night talking and shit.

so its like 11am and i am started to get tired as fuck, but of course today was Pride and we couldnt miss that. it was sooo freakin hard for me to get up cause i was high and sick and tired and everything. all worth it of course ;) so i knew i had to do my coke to wake the fuck up. and we got dressed and left. we met dwayne at st.marks and hung out for a bit. we went to kmart and annie bought me this cute bracelet. we got water guns too. it was really fun.outside we devided up the waterguns. there were like for each person for like $5. and dwayne got vito this really cute, really girly necklace set. it had pink heart necklaces, 3 heart bracelets which vito just tied to the strings of his hoodie shirt, and 3 cute rings. to he like held out the ring to me like he was proposing. and i was like yay we are getting married now. it was so funny. so now i have this cute little plastic star ring that i call my engagement ring. if only....hehe. so we walked towards the parade, through washington square park and filled our waterguns. had a huge watergun fight. it was fun fun. then there was that huge fountain there, that was finally on. so vito of course wanted to go in it, so we went over and sat down on the steps around the fountain. all these people were there with rainbow flags. and cute girl couples were cuddling. it was so great. so vito went in and got soaking wet. i took pictures lol. we sat there for a while getting sunburned while vito played around and we watched all these hot girls getting wet lol. then we went toward the parade, which was like over lol, but there were still massive amounts of people around. we walked forever just to see if we could find soemthing to do. or pridefest. we walked down christopher street for a while, but everyone was starting to get sick and had to pee. we stopped in a cute store and dwayne bought me and annie these really cute rainbow bracelets :) that was so sweet of him. so then we were all getting grumpy and sick so we were looking for a place to eat and pee but everything was so massivly crowded. so we decided to walk back to the east village. we stopped at starbucks on the way and peed and sat there for a while. it was nice and cool in there and we were finally sitting. stupid obvious tip: never go walking in 85 degrees weather all day after doing e and being completely dehydrated and not sleeping or eating for like days. grr. so we decided to go to this taco place that we knew of, that was near the train. annie was being super pissy with vito and it was really annoying cause i hate when people treat him like shit. grrr. but she was like super nice to me. cause she loves me. grrr too. lol anyway. we ate tacos, hung out for a bit. vito and dwayne talked about weird stuff. vito thinks dwayne is not who he seems to be and that something is off with him. i dunno. i might hang out with just him today, if i ever get some sleep, and try to figure out what vito is talkin about. so yeah, then we took the subway home, vito and i did some coke and layed down together. i slept from like 11-2:30am and that was it. insomnia strikes again. wtf i was so sick and tired and now i cant sleep. my body is completely aching for it and i just cant do it. and i wanna do stuff today so that sucks.grrr.

i was watching vito sleep tonight and i think i have decided not to go back to buffalo. these last two weeks have been crazy and all over the place. and no one thinks i should go. i am not ready. and everything here has been perfect. laying next to vito while he is sleeping is perfect. why would i want to leave that and possibly take a step backwards into destructive behavior. all alone.

well that completes the massivly long post. hope i got everything in and i can stop being stressed. and i hope that now that it is like 7am i can finally fall asleep.

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