Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.

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college yay

ive been putting off this entry cause its just too hard and too long. yesterday i dropped off my sister at college. we left at 3am and drove in the car for hours. i couldnt really sleep so that sucked. the place looked like a ghost town. it was weird and neat. when we got there, there was nothing around. like really nothing. i almost wanted to cry. i thought buffalo was suburbia...damn. so we went to dunkin donuts and then we went to Oneonta. the campus is really nice and open. i like it. we went to cristinas dorm room and helped her get settled in. the room is really small, but her side is cool.

so then we shopped a lot at a bi obnoxious wallmart. i was so tired and sick i thought i was gonna pass out. i saw all these kids moving in. all these kids my age. and it just made me really really sad. i felt so old. i am doing all these things kids my age are not even thinking about. i miss my life. i should be there with people my age. doing college things. i miss that so much. i saw everyone getting books and moving in, and hanging out infront of dorms...*sigh*

it was hard saying goodbye to my sister. i know she will make friends, that is good. but i am worried about other things. i know she is a little wild and crazy, but there, with those boys...its just not the same as high school. i dunno. i hope she is ok, and responsible...well as much as you can be at college lol.

so here i am today, at home. things suck but i am trying. i am walking on eggshells and i hate it, but i guess i deserve it. i just hate when i say things i get threatened. its just not right. oh well.

i cut myself today. second time this month. i just had too. i couldnt stop crying and i didnt want to upset vito with it. when i do that i stop crying. so i cut, stopped crying, sucked it up and went outside. i want a cigarette so bad, but no money, and its bad for you. yeah whatever.

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