Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

  • Mood:

awake.

god i love him so much. i had a really fabulous night. suddenly i feel like things are gonna start to fall into place. i dont know what it was, but i feel feel hopeful, and even ok. things suck right now, and are really hard. but i think i can see a light at the end of this pitiful tunnel. i know i sounds like a big corn ball, but its true.

so vito and i spent the night just hanging out with eachother. for the first time in a long time. we just hung out. we watched tv for a while...will&grace and scrubs. then we cleaned a little. damn this place needs cleaning. that was a little hard, we got a little mad, i got a little hurt, but we worked it out. vito is really trying to control his mood lately, and he is doing a better job at it. then we watched this amazing movie about lesbians called Chutney Popcorn. it was sooo incredibly good. i think its gonna be one of my favs now. after that we just talked to eachother about random things. about him and me, and dwayne, and how things have changed and will get better. i love him so much, and i am starting to see how our lives can intertwine. i know i have always said it, but i dont know if i believed it. vito's lifestyle always seemed a little too hurtful and intense for me, and i played along. but i feel like we love eachother so much that i dont just have to play along anymore. i can do it. and maybe i will even like it. hehe. i can see us in the future being happy. we just need to fix a few things. things around us that are effecting us. and i need to continue trying to find myself. i mean, i am only 20. hoe did i expect to grow up so fast? how did anyone else? but now its time. and its time to realize who we are and learn with eachother.

<3 for you.
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