so thursday i never got to do my homework with vito cause he never called. and then friday like RIGHT before my class he calls and says he got some stuff and he was doing it and forgot to call me. well i was more than pissed off. i felt hurt, betrayed and totally let down.and felt like an idiot cause i was hystrical crying in The Commons. but i was also worried about him. but i had to go to class. so all during class i was a mess. it was an emotional class too (womens studies) and then i told him to call me at 2 but he never did. so i decided to hang out with beth and we got alcohol and stuff and had a pretty good time. i tried calling vito all that timethough and he didnt answer, then finally he left a message saying the phone wasnt working and he would call me later. which i later found out was a lie.
so ater getting trashed i was so upset and it was like 9. i finally got a hold of vito and he said he was doing the stuff all night and had finally stopped. i was so mad. i didnt even know what to do. and he was upset that he let me down. so i told him he should just come home but he was all upset. so i did stuff i shouldnt have done too. and i guess i am mad at myself but why the fuck should i be.. its like i never get a break. then michelle came over and we did whippits and smoked up and blah.
so today i call him and ask him whats going on and he is all in bad shape and everything and crying so i told him to come back here right now. he said he had to wait to talk to his mom. so we finally get a hold of his mom who freaked out about the coke of course and shes is like get the next plane to buffalo, but it was already too late. so vito is at my parents house right now so he doesnt have to be there in that fucking apartment and tomorrow he is gonna take the 3:10 flight up here. and i am falling apart over here cause i dont know what the hell is gonna happen, and i feel like i have no one to talk to cause i feel like i am whining alll the time. but i feel like everything around me is falling apart and everyone is like "be strong, be strong" but how the fuck can i be strong when i have to deal with this and all the shit that happened last month. when do i get a fucking break?
so tonight beth and maybe her friend katie are coming over and we are gonna do shrooms and smoke cause i just dont wanna deal with this shit. i am too worried and too sick for all of this. my stomach hurts so bad from stress i can barely get up. i just wish this would all be over. i hope i have fun tonight with some awsome girls...