Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

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happy anniversary

so yesterday vito went to sleep for like all night so we ended up not getting anything. then tali calles and tells us her car broke down.so they had to tow it and now its gonna be like so expensive. so yeah that sucks. so chris came over before she got there and he brought his bong so we smoked and i got so fucked up. i dont even reall remember what i did. i just remember that i was in here talking to mike online and then vito wanted to know if i wanted to come lay with him so of course i did. then ken came over and they hung out for a while i guess. i just slept wth vito until like 8 this morning, then he wanted me to leave or wanted me to fool around with hm,, i still cant figure it out. but he got all mad at me because it took me a long time to wake up and leave. and then he told me to stop telling him that i love him cause i say it to much. so i told him ill try to love him less then cause i only say it when i mean it, and then that was horrble of me to say so he got upset. like him telling me to stop saying i love you wasnt hurtful enough. grrr. and then i wasnt getting him hinting that he wanted to fool around. i dunno. so i left and i was crying and cutting over here so he decided he would come sleep over here. so he comes over and still wants me to go down on him so i did. but i atleast got to kiss him so that was cool. he hardly ever kisses me anymore. it was really nice. i just wish i wouldnt have been so sad cause then i could have appreciated it more and concentrated on it more :( oh well. so then when i finished he started arguing with me again about something i did. so he left the bed and i was pretty upset again so i asked him if i could please just lay with him. so he said ok which is good cause i dont know what i would have done.

i guess i just feel like junk. like worthless junk that should be happy for what i have, and i shouldnt even be in this world. im sad and i make everyone else sad, so i just dont see why i should be here.

so yeah i woke up and vito wasnt there anymore. i guess he got up after i lay down and came in here to use the computer. then he got all upset when i woke up because of something he had to take care of with tali's car and so he was saying he has to take care of everyone now. and then he got all into my financial aid which always gets him upset. so then i figured id make some cookies cause he has been wanting those but he didnt want any. but he did go off to his pschiatrst appointment today so hes finally gonna get his medicine today i hope!!! that will be good :) mabe things will get better then. i really hope so.

so today is our 2 year anniversary. 2 whole years. wow. so im just gonna tr to ignore this morning and maybe the rest of the day will be ok. i feel bad cause i didnt get him anything, but he hasnt gotten his vday present yet so atleast i can give him that. i just remember how cool last year was. i wonder if he still loves me that much still.

i love him. even if i cant say it as much as i want. im sorry i guess.
happy anniversary sweetie. i love you.
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  • 12 comments

  • (no subject)

    Not going to dragon con this year is such a fucking bummer. Mostly for the friends and the hang outs, and just the whole atmosphere of the thing.…

  • lesbians and bisexuals

    I think this is really important, so I'm putting it here for my reference and for others, too. The original video is 'What lesbians think about…

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    When its one thirty AM and I'm trying to figure out whether to continue my Orphan Black rewatch or start rewatching Terminator: The Sarah Connor…