haha thats been playing in my head all night. wonder why lol.
sometimes i wonder if disappearing would be such a bad idea.
ive been itching to go back to the city for quite a few days now. im gonna have to arrange that sometime soon; figure out when to go to summer school and all. and then figure out how much time im gonna spend in nyc. i want it to work out with everything else. dont i always.
i talked to annie yesterday. it went pretty well. i dunno. maybe things could have been different. maybe they can get better now. fixing things would be hard but worth a shot. i need to let go of some of that anger i guess. it isnt healthy. i havent been healthy at all lately. in anything.
ive been eating soooo much because im depressed. i feel like the biggest piggy. and then i feel like i want to throw up everything. the last thing i need is to get back into that again.
today i watched spongebob with vito. that was pretty fun. he actually came over and lay with me. it was nice. i miss how we used to do that all the time. i should stop missing things and just focus on the here and now.
i wish i wasnt so depressed in the here and now. it comes and goes i guess. lately its been coming more than going. maybe its just cause its that time of the month? i so hope thats what it is.
and i wish people would have a little more respect for how i feel. but that comes with time i guess. i hope. i shouldnt let things get to me the way i do i guess. i hate that weakness in me.
vito told me joe and shannon are getting married. they started going out around the same time him and i did. i think thats so cool. i hope it works out. they seemed so wonderful for eachother.makes me smile. it makes me feel a little sad too in some way. do i want that some day? cause i dont think he does. but why think of that now.
now im watching cowboy beebop and trying to tune out tali's moaning in the other room. the perks of having a roomate lol.