argh. i hate feeling jealous. its one of the worst feelings in the world. like why did she get all that. i wish i had what she has now. and i practically walked away from it. imagine if that was me and i stayed and had all that. i hate this fucking feeling. i should just be happy with what i have and not be all like how come she got it and doesnt deserve it and look at what i have.
i wish i didnt have a reason to feel this way. like if everything was great here maybe i wouldnt. cause right now i probably just have a lot more broken up shit than she does. how do things just work out for people?
i dont wanna see her happy perfect life. a life that im no longer a part of. and can never have back. i dont want to see it but i cant just let go.