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Operation this-will-most-likely-end-badly is a go!
a really hot geek
missing class again. 
28th-Oct-2004 02:04 pm
so today my downfall finally hit me. Last night was pretty bad and i almost cried during my whole class. i was just way too all over the place to be there. and then we were talking about the different types of abuse so that didnt make it any better. i was just a wreck. blah. i forgot about it for a while with the lunar eclipse and during todays haunted union thing which was pretty cool. there was a decorating contest. LGBTA's rocked the hardest of course. they had cookie decorating, caramel apple making, pumpkin carving, apple cider. it was pretty hot. so i stayed for a while. i wanted to go to the haunted house and watch the scary movies all day but i didnt want to do it alone and vito didnt want to come over to campus. but i did get candy hehe.

so yeah. i struggled through my first class, pushed myself through my second class, and i just couldnt do the third. it was just too much. everytime i talk to someone i just feel my throat swelling up and i know im gonna cry. so i try not to talk to anyone. i just dont feel anything inside me anymore but numbness, and tears. and there isnt a soul i can talk to about it. that really bothers me. so im trying to just go about my days the best i can. trying not to fall behind, trying not to slip into a deep depression. and its taking me everything i have.

this weekend is halloween. i was excited. now im...trying to stay excited. today im gonna try going halloween shoppin with michelle. a few last minute costume needs from hot topic. hopefully we will find some good parties to go to. and then after that i just dont know. i wish i could just fall off the face of the planet for a little while.
Felix- to the left
28th-Oct-2004 06:33 pm (UTC)
I know the feeling, you can push yourself only so much when you feel like that but eventually you just kind of have to leave and break down. *hugs*
28th-Oct-2004 07:14 pm (UTC)
yeah. except ive left and broken down so many times i just cant do it anymore and i dont know what to do. everytime i start to try and get my life back shit like this happens :(

28th-Oct-2004 08:50 pm (UTC)
yeah it feels like it will never go away fully, or everytime you think it has sth comes up and it comes back again. :(
28th-Oct-2004 06:37 pm (UTC)
student counseling services: 645 2720

i'm going there because i'm going through similar circumstances. lately it's been better, but i've never been as unhappy as i was at the beginning of the semester.

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