the next day....i was SO FUCKING SICK. i thought i was gonna die. i puked till like 2pm. and i just couldnt get myself up out of bed. it was so bad. so i missed all my classes and everything. im so fucked. yeah what else is new. then friday i hung out with ken for a bit and then went home and cried a whole lot. things have just been so bad. like i dont even know how to explain it and get into it. im so tired of not being important to the one person who is supposed to feel lucky to have me in their lives. so i watched celebrity weddings for like 2 hours and ended up just not being able to breath and feeling really fucking sick. then ken called me and we hung out in his car for a long time just having reallyy good conversations and just hanging out. it actually calmed me down a lot and made me feel so much better. its good to have someone to talk to. then we stopped at michelles and saw her new cat maxwell. its cute but still pretty scared. then i came home and watched enterprise with vito. just when i wanna let go and i think about changing things he says such nice things to me and then i feel likek things will be ok. i feel so fucked up. i dunno. anyway then i got ready and went over to michelles and we hung out and drank and then went to the cont. i tried not to drink a lot cause i had a psych test at 1pm the next day and i rememberd what happened last time. i did a retty good job not getting too drunk i think.
and on that note im finishing this later cause im starving and feel like shit.