ive been so bad at updating lately. i dont even know what ive missed. i hate that. last week of classes were blah. and i basically missed the last day cause thats when my dad called about my grandma. i was hysterical but i decided i had to take care of things. so vito took a cab to campus with me and i took my cognitive psych test. i probably did so bad. i ha to re read everything like 7 times and the words were swimming infront of my face. ugh. then i dropped off my english portfolio and my womens studies project. it was so hard to be there and not burst into tears. after that i came home and slept the rest of the day.
the next day i met vito on campus and his mom drove us to the airport and we went to nyc. the flight was pretty good and it was good to be there with vito. we took the super shuttle to my parents apartment and ther was so much damn traffic. my sister was there already so vito lay down and me and her decided to go get food. i miss being able to just go get food. so she got chinese and i got kfc. vito woke up when we got back and we all ate together. then we took the subway down to port authority and took the cab to new jersey. i cried so much on the way there. it was so weird to be going there and knowing my grandma wasnt going to be there. we could never see her laugh or hold her hand or show her anything ever again.
when we got there we waited for a long time and then my aunt and her boyfriend or whatever came to pick us up. she was so damn drunk and was just going on and on. it was pretty upsetting but i just ignored it. we got home like 40 minutes later cause she was being obnoxious. i was just happy to see my mom and dad. we all talked and just sat around. it was hard. i wanted my grandma to be there so bad. i dont remember what else we did that night but i think we just went to bed. we were all so damn tired.
the next days were very very hard. i dunno if i wanna write about it all yet.
last night when i got back i was so tired i thought i was gonna die. but i needed to do something. so i showered and talked with vito for a while, then i went to michelles with ken and gt pretty drunk. then we went to nietzchiez (sp?) and drank some more. i deserved it. then i came home pretty drunk. tons of snow on the ground. and i just passed out, dont really remember anything from when i got home. woke up today at like 4pm and ive just been hanging around not really doing anything. Today is vitos birthday so i went to the store with michelle and i got an icecream cake and cordon bleus cuase he loves those. i got some other stuff too cause i was so hungry. i got eggrolls hehe. and cocktail sauce cause we got so much shrimp on sale last time.lol.
anyway now im watching earthsea and waiting for vito to get home so we can celebrate befor he goes to sleep.
little things remind me of her. and its so hard.