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Operation this-will-most-likely-end-badly is a go!
a really hot geek
can someone wake me up now? please? 
20th-Dec-2004 02:32 am
oh my god. why am i even fucking here anymore. seriously. this is starting to go from massivly depressing to insanely fucking funny. i cant even believe this is my life anymore. like this is what everything ive done has led me too.

one of these days im just not even gonna hold back. im just gonna push that fucking blade down as deep as i can and just pray that i have the courage to fucking do it.

everyone says they care so much. so where the fuck are you now????
Felix- to the left
20th-Dec-2004 07:35 am (UTC)
::hugs:: just a cell phone call away.
20th-Dec-2004 08:14 am (UTC)
i'm here.
i'm always here.
pochanike on aim and yahoo.
20th-Dec-2004 10:26 am (UTC)
*feels like that at times also.* Seriously, I dont know why we are carrying on...I think its the slight hope that things will get better, but it doesnt seem so likely.

*big hugs*
20th-Dec-2004 06:26 pm (UTC)
yeah exactly. i feeel like im walking around but im dead. and whats the point. ugh. its so stupid.

*big hugs back* ;)
(Deleted comment)
20th-Dec-2004 06:25 pm (UTC)
whats your sn?? id love to talk to you sometime :)
(Deleted comment)
26th-Dec-2004 11:20 am (UTC)
thank you for the christmas card!!
(Deleted comment)
26th-Dec-2004 09:26 pm (UTC)
aww hehe that would have been so cute!
20th-Dec-2004 11:58 am (UTC) - well...
I just went to IM you on AOL but you're not on. I just wanted to say thank you so much for the X-mas card. That was really sweet and totally made my day.

That's the first piece of mail I've ever received here.

Dan says thanks too.

I'll try to get one out to you, times have just been extremely tough for me, I literally have NO money...I don't wanna get into it I'll just depress myself.

So yeah I'm barely scraping together a present for Dan.

I hope things get better for you hun....
20th-Dec-2004 02:43 pm (UTC)
20th-Dec-2004 02:45 pm (UTC)
One of the things I remember clearly about my teen angst depression is that the more I thought about it, the more depressed I got and more pointless it all seemed.

So I stopped thinking about it, and I started feeling ok.
20th-Dec-2004 06:23 pm (UTC)
hahaha. you make it sound like this is a new thing. and teen angst depression? cause you know me so well.

21st-Dec-2004 01:47 am (UTC) - phtphpthptphtphptphpthptphptpht

give the cry for attention, and then slap me down when I fall for it!

Just trying to relate a little, share the pain and all that rot, it was MY teen angst depression, not sure how to lable yours, but teen angst prolly isn't it, given that you're in your twenties now. Unless you're still procesing your teens, which is entirely likley, bit I'd go more with emotionaly abusive relationship depression, or seasonaly affected depression.

Unless I know you so well that I completely mis-read the post and you're just venting, pissed at it all or whatever. Which is good, get it out.
20th-Dec-2004 04:09 pm (UTC)
Waiting for your call, you ninny

Hey what movie theater do you prefer?
20th-Dec-2004 06:22 pm (UTC)
i dont call people. haha. i do the online thing. social anxiety and all.

i prefer any theatre i can get to without it costing me a lot of cab fare lol. usually the one on sweethome road.
20th-Dec-2004 04:55 pm (UTC)
the holidays always make me feel shitty.
20th-Dec-2004 06:20 pm (UTC)
yeah the holidays are bullshit. i used to love them so much but now it just seeems everything gets worse and worse
21st-Dec-2004 01:09 am (UTC)
I really like your Fight Club icon. :-)
21st-Dec-2004 05:46 am (UTC)
thanks ;)
tori is the shit.
(Deleted comment)
21st-Dec-2004 08:51 pm (UTC)
i know darling. thank you <3
21st-Dec-2004 02:31 pm (UTC)
Sweetie, I do the same thing when I get depressed. You can't look to other people to make you feel better. Maybe a select few, but mostly you have to look inside yourself.

When it really comes down to it, the only person you really have to lean on is you.

I'm not saying I have no faith in humanity, but sometimes you have to look inward and not outward because the only one that truly understands is most likely you.

I just lost my grandfather on Sunday after a very long illness. I hear ya.
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