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Operation this-will-most-likely-end-badly is a go!
a really hot geek
i hate therapy. it makes me cry. and so i couldnt go to class. and… 
27th-Jan-2005 02:57 pm
i hate therapy. it makes me cry. and so i couldnt go to class. and the fucked up thing is that im crying because of him and all i wanna do is go hide in his arms.

i hate this fucking life. i just wanna be gone.
Felix- to the left
27th-Jan-2005 08:13 pm (UTC)
<3 As hard as it seems now, know that it'll get better and you'll feel better in the end. The best thing to do is let yourself hate him, think about all his flaws and what made him a horrible boyfriend, and how he treated you. Usually, you miss a relationship more than the person, and once you convince yourself of that it gets a lot easier. Don't even think about the good, everytime you do, think about how you felt when he'd ignore you or say hurtful things. That was the best way I found to avoid running back.

When me and my ex broke up (and it was a horrible break up, I found out he was cheating on me with 2 nasty whores for a couple months at least), I got fucked up for a week straight and there were definately times when I wanted to just go back to him, tell him I love him and we can work things out. But then I would think about what he did, and the bad things about him, and those feelings of running back eventually subsided and I felt stronger then for overcoming them. Then I took him to court and made him pay me the 600 bucks I used on my credit cards for him :D
27th-Jan-2005 08:38 pm (UTC)
i cant let myself hate him cause i dont. i love him to death. i love him more than anything in the world. i would die for him. i dont hate him at all. thats why its hard. and i know he doesnt treat me like he should, but just doesnt compare to how wmuch i love him. and thats why this is rediculous and i am completely stuck.
27th-Jan-2005 11:22 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I was like that too, but looking at the bad points in the relationship and realizing he doesn't deserve your love if he's going to act that way is really the quickest way to curb the break up depression. At least it worked for me. Cuz if you think about your love, or the good parts, it's gonna cloud your judgement into thinking the relationship wasn't bad enough to break up over. But if you think about the reasons you broke up, and look at past entries of the way he's been n stuff it'll help you realize you did the right thing and prevent you from getting yourself back into those problems.

I personally wrote a couple page letter to him (that I never sent, or intended to) saying how much he hurt me and all the things he did wrong and blah blah blah. Anytime I felt the need to call him or go back to him, I read that letter and re-affirmed the reason I ended it.
27th-Jan-2005 09:07 pm (UTC)
Talking about my depression & what I'm going through makes me cry too. :(
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