Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.

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one more day...

till i go home and totally die. I REALLY REALLY REALLY dont want to go home. i know its gonna be bad and triggering and i doooont need that right now. Its bad enough as it is. I havnt cut since that day but i have been burning now and i cant stop. and i did it bad last night =( i dont know why i do it still. its like those moments of such depressedness and then i am happy for the rest of the time. its like a constant battle with my mind. I went to therapy today and its sucked major flickerstick balls. I just feel so detached and stupid when i go in there. I hate it. I used to be ok with it. Now i wish i didnt have to go back.

I am gonna miss Josh and Andrea sooooo bad these next few days. I got so wasted last night and i didnt even go to sleep at all. I stayed up with Michelle smokin wonderfully, then at like 6:45 i met Josh and Andrea..still high by the way and they would kill me if they knew.... and we went to IHOP for breakfast. Then i went straight to class. which only 4 people were in. LOL but i got my papaer back and got an A (yippeee) and i got a 95% on my test!! go music theory!! hehe.

so my roomate is going home today thank god. I can be alone for one night. And Andrea is going home today too. shes bringing my fishy home since i cant =) Josh is staying till tomorrow though so I can still chill with him tonight hopefully. poop =)

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