i really need it to stay this way for my sanity on christmas. or even the days around christmas cause on christmas i will probably be a wreck.
but he drove me to the airport cause his mom said she would before "the thing" happened. (haha im gonna refer to it as "the thing" from now on cause i think if i write "broke up" in the same sentence ill puke) and he still wants to be friends. so...he still wants to see me at times? yeah. this is gonna go well :\ but seriosuly...it might cause we didnt end it badly. it was just something he had to do. so no resentment or heard feelings...?
so he got me a christmas present a while ago and he wanted me to come see it. it was the March of the Penguins DVD. soooo freakin cute! he knew i would love it :p i loved it. so fascinated. i kept saying how much i wanted a little penguin hehe. and then he drove me to the airport. so yeah.
i feel like sometimes im ok with it and i can handle it. but then at times it sudenly hits me and i feel like my heart is breaking into a million pieces.
it feel a little like with my grandma. and i always do a denial thing. and then sometimes the truth breaks through and kills me so i have to bottle it up cause i just wont be able to deal with it or function.
so then i got to nyc, my dad was there and it took a while for the baggage. and then we took the air train and the subway and got home. and as soon as we came in the door...2am mind you...they said there was a TRANSIT STRIKE. muthafuckers. grrr. im mad cause i have to walk to like 34th st which is so not cool. and then walk to do christmas shopping. so not cool. but also i dont wanna bitch about it cause i dont know both sides of the story. but its still a pain in the ass for me. and with the way people have been....
and i wanna go see Brokeback Mountain. so very badly. that and buying Serenity tomorrow are on my list of things i must do this break. oh yeah and buy shoes ;) and not think of vito too much. or be whiney. ha.