anyway, lately i feel like ive been having problems with my anxiety again. i dont know what it is, or why, but ive been avoiding situations, and parties and friends like i used to when my social anxiety used to be really bad. and i am officially totally out of my meds. but i absolutely dont want to start over with counceling. i havent gone in like a year and a half now and i didnt need it. but with this whole anxiety thing maybe its time to go back...if only for the meds. im just annoyed cause i was handling everything so well. but i guess its expected with a more than 60% relapse rate.
but tonight has been so hard cause im supposed to go to this party with ryan and im just feeling like absolute shit and im an anxious wreck. i dont even want to go but im trying to force myself to. ugh.