Captain of the Innuendo Squad. (brandinsbabe) wrote,
Captain of the Innuendo Squad.
brandinsbabe

overheard in ny

love:

Stoner #1: Man, this is an awesome place to come and get stoned.
Stoner #2: Dude, totally. This is what John Lennon was all about.
Actual Lennon fan nearby: Shut the fuck up! This is sacred land! Do not make me get Yoko Ono to fuck you two up!
Stoner #1: Geez, calm down.
Stoner #2: Seriously. Like, give peace a chance or whatever.

--Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Black guy: Why would a young black girl dye her hair blonde? Looks terrible, y'know.
Whitey: Um, yeah. Bad idea.
Black guy: Bitch looked like a burnt grilled cheese sandwich.

--One Penn Plaza

Thug, screaming: Get that shit off me, yo! Get that shit off me!
guy holding potted plant: Relax, it can't hurt you.
Thug: Get that Jurassic Park shit away from me! That shit suck yo' finger off -- I seen it!
guy, offended: It's not a Venus fly trap, it's celery.
Thug: Suck yo' finger right off...!

--L train


Four-year-old #1: Ice cream makes your head fall off.
Four-year-old #2: No, it doesn't.
Four-year-old #1: It was just an expression, asshole.
Four-year-old #2, to his dog: Don't let him pet you.

--Central Park
Tags: funnies
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