White mom: Which kitty is your favorite?
Little girl holding book of baby animals: The black one!
Mom: The black one? He sure is a cute kitty.
Little girl, loudly: Once you go black, you never go back!
Passing thug, flashing her a thumbs-up: Word!
White mom: I don't care what your father says, we are so moving to Westchester.
--Commodore Barry Park, Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Cafeteria lady: So, you been good this weekend?
Frat boy: No! Me and my girlfriend got totally shit-faced!
Cafeteria lady: 'My girlfriend and I.'
Frat boy: What?
Cafeteria lady: 'My girlfriend and I got totally shit-faced.'
Frat boy: Whoa! You have a girlfriend?! Hardcore!
Conductor: Attention, passengers, this J Train is now going express to Myrtle. You hear me? Express. Express! There is a local train right behind this one. This train is going express! [Mob of angry passengers exits train.] Psych! This is a local J Train to Manhattan. Next stop: Chauncey. Please enjoy the leg room brought to you by the New York City MTA.
--Broadway Junction Station, Brooklyn
Little girl, about hobo wrestling with a bush: Mommy, why is he doing that?
Mother: I don't know, honey.
Little girl: Maybe he's the gardener!
Mother: Maybe! Or maybe he's just fucking crazy.
--Washington Square Park
Mom: Don't kick that box! It could have a bomb in it!
Four-year-old boy: Oh, great, Mom. Something else to worry about.
--58th & 2nd
Seven-year-old girl, hopping furiously on one leg: My legs are confusing me!
--Corson Ave, Staten Island
and last but not least:
Mom, about man on train with flowers: Awww, he has flowers. They're probably for his girlfriend.
Eight-year-old daughter: Mom, you never know! They could be for a boy.