these are the funniest in a while!
: They have been underestimating my power.
: They have been underestimating my power for quite some time now.
: What are you, a supervillain? Who's been underestimating your power? The justice league?
: No, the electric company. They say I owe them eight hundred dollars.
: Dude, you and I were having two totally different conversations.
, about street sign with large bend in middle: Why does the Gershwin Way sign have a curve in it like that?
: I think it's to symbolize Gershwin's music.
New Yorker passerby: A truck backed into it, ya stupid bitches.
--NW corner, E 50 St & Broadway
Columbia student volunteer: So, who knows what soy milk is?
Fourth grade girls: [Silence.]
Columbia student volunteer: Well, soy milk tastes like milk, but it's made with beans.
Fourth grader: Hold the phone -- beans has titties?
Little boy sitting on dad's shoulders and crying: But I make good decisions! I want to take a taxi! I don't want to take the bus! I make good decisions. Why doesn't anybody listen to meee?!
Dad: Honey, because you're three.
Little boy, sobbing and hailing a cab: Taxi!
--Uptown M15 bus stop
Bald white monk in orange robes: [Mumbling to himself.]
Bimbette, to friend: I guess he's, like, praying for a safe journey.
Bald white monk in orange robes: No, I'm on the phone [shows BlackBerry].